GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
