You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
His hands were made for my vagina.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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