people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize