Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
