How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
