you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
