WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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