You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
