She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I don't deserve a penis
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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