you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
