I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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