As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
