Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
