new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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