Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I have tasted many bathrooms
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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