Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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