I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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