I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
