We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
