fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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