When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
