can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Randomize
