i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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