I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
