im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
