Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
