Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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