I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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