so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
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Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize