How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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