just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Still dying that you shit outside
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
