was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
