butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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