my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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