so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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