my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
