Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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