So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
