Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
