the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
