flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
