I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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