My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
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My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
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I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize