why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
