i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
