And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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