Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
