My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
