A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
another moral hangover. fuck.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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