Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
