you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
