im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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