My sheets look like a crime scene.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
