Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
