exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
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