i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
She made me pour olive oil on her.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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