suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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