He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
