I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
