I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
