I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
