So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
