He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
