I didn't shave. On purpose
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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