Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
