He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize