He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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